The Baby I Prayed For: February 2014

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Blizzard Of 2014

Well, it happened! we got snow, and a lot of it. I don't know how much because around our house it's blowing so much it's either in huge drifts or bare driveway. We have a huge drift right outside our door that we will need to climb over to get out. G tried it and succeeded but it took struggling. We can see 422 from our place and there is not much traffic. we keep seeing snowplows go by and the road looks passable, but I think most people are enjoying just having a snow day inside.
Last night I was excited, but wanting to make sure the day goes well, so I thought up some things to do with G.

I started with a box and cut holes in it. put a bunch of rice and dry macaroni in it with spoons and bowls. Ummm, I was hoping she would play with it longer than she did. :(

The Ipad and coco puffs for breakfast was a happy thing while I tried to get work done on the computer.

Mim gave us an early valentines gift of chocolates! She couldn't let the box out of her sight! She is a total chocaholic!

In case you are worried, no she did not eat the whole box!

We did laundry and cleaned up and swept the basement. She used her swings for a while.

We ate a breakfast lunch of eggs, fried potatoes, little sausages, and toast.

And then she went outside for a bit while I stood at the door. I did not feel like getting all wet!

After her nap, we did another little project. Baking soda and colored vinegar, It was pretty cool! She loved it..... as long as I was right there with her. When I went to sneak in some work time, she lost interest. sigh

And then, more snow play, this time with mommy and mim too. Her first big snow man!

After supper, Mim took her downstairs and they ran off some energy playing tag, swinging and jumping. Thanks Mim!
While they were down playing I baked a cake for Mim's birthday which is tomorrow, on Valentines day.

Gabriella is in bed now. Time to get a nice bubbly drink and relax.
All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Funny Girl

What a funny little girl! It's bed time, so of course she needs to go potty after she is in bed. Of Course!! Even though she went right before bed which was about 10 minutes ago. No sooner are the lights out than she needs to go REALLY BAD!! If I say no, she says, "shall I go in my panties?" "shall I go on the bed?" "Shall I go on the floor?" and then she laughs like she told the best joke ever.
So, I quit saying no, it's faster to just let her go and get it done with. She's gone for a while and comes back with only a shirt, one sock and sunglasses on. She can't get her one sock back on. I help her, well, actually I just put it on, she doesn't really help except by holding her foot in the air. She runs back to get the rest of her clothes. Soon I hear frustrated crys coming from the bathroom and she comes again, holding her underwear. I put them on her. She runs back and instead of even trying she comes back with her pj bottoms, pretend whimpering so I will put them on her instead of making her try. She runs back, she's dressed now, "hey, where are you going?" I need to flush, mo-mmy'! I think I'm wrong, it's not faster to just let her go, instead of calling her bluff.

She says mommy with a british accent. She's been sick with strep throat this past week and so I've been letting her watch entirely tooooo many videos on the ipad. She has several favorites and I realized after I started hearing Mommy being said with that adorable accent that most of the videos she watches are with a british accent. I love it! I really need to record that before she looses it again.

We got a cat. Yup, a great big pretty tom cat. He's very gentle and laid back. She can pick him up, and try, try, try to pick him up. He's totally patient the whole time, even when he is half way suspended as she tries hard to heft him into her lap. He's downstairs most of the time. It's supposed to stay that way. We don't want to be hairy cat people, even though G and I both love cats and dogs and fish and .....
Earlier this evening the cat was mewing and I told her to go down and tell him he can come up for a while. He hadn't been up yet. It took a few times of her going down, but eventually he did follow her up. She jabbered at him a mile a minute and fed him some pretend tea. She pretend medicated him, and said "he does NOT like his medicine! It was blue medicine and he no like it!!!" (blue medicine is some cough syrup she had once that she detests!)

Uhh! How to get her to stop saying "naughty Mommy"! She says it for anything she is displeased with me for. I am in front of her on the steps, going up or down. "naughty mommy"!! Of course! I'm very naughty, I should always remember that she needs/wants to be first on the steps, or coming in the door for that matter!!!

She's a riot! My little spit fire that forgets nothing. That can have me laughing so hard one minute and sighing in frustration the next. I don't, I really don't know how I wasn't bored to death before she came home.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Adoption, The Hard Parts and The Good Parts

(If this blog starts feeling negative, read to the end, it turns positive there! :)

It has taken me a long time to feel a complete connection with my little girl. I loved her, and took care of her and would have done pretty much anything for her, but I didn't feel normal or real. I knew from research before adopting that this is normal so it didn't worry me too much. I didn't like it, but then, I didn't like the looonnnggg time of post adoption depression I went through either. That also is very normal, for those of you who have never adopted or studied it.

I'm gonna be honest. It's not easy! Telling people who you love, and having them be excited for you is fun, the excitement of waiting is fun, buying things for the child you are waiting for is fun, the meeting of your child for the first time is over the moon and hard to even wrap your brain around. Going to bring her home is the best thing I've ever done. I've never ever regretted adopting my little girl. The thought never went through my mind. I've loved her since about the third day of meeting her when I felt God move my heart and I loved her and felt it.
But, it's not all fun. It's hard, harder than anyone can imagine. I heard a lot of criticism for adoptive parents before I adopted. I even criticized them. I didn't have a clue, and neither does anyone else who hasn't adopted.
Bringing a child home from another country, from an orphanage, is not easy for them either. They don't understand having someone as 'theirs', no one has ever had their back, or had a special interest in them. They are malnourished, even if they have some chub on their cheeks, it doesn't mean they are healthy. I thought my daughter was fairly healthy for typical EE orphanages, but even she had dry brittle hair and a bald spot from malnutrition. She gained two pounds in the first 5 days of me having her! Her skin was odd colored and scabby, and very translucent. That changed in the first 2 weeks home. Her bald spot was gone in about a month or two. They have no idea their life is changing for the better. They have been inside the same few rooms all their lives and suddenly they are in a car! in a motel, in an airplane, with lots and lots and lots of people all around them. sights and sounds they never heard. LOTS of noise! Their food changes - None of the familiar foods. (I tried, but I don't know what they were feeding, she didn't like the stuff I got that they said they fed her) And all with someone who doesn't speak their language. All this to say, it's not easy for the child either. People say my child is lucky to have a family, and to have gotten out before the adoptions were shut down to americans. I don't like that being said for so many reasons. For one, I don't believe it was luck. I believe it was the hand of God working. two. She is not lucky for loosing her biological mom. for living in an orphanage for 2 years where no one cares about you more than a babysitter would who switches with other babysitters every few hours and who doesn't spend any one on one time with you. Three. for loosing her country of heritage. We can look on and say she got a better country, and while I feel she did, it's still a loss. SO, lucky? she has gone through more hard things in her life than most americans will in a life time.
The first few month home, I tried to keep her world very small. I craved being with people! I wanted to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! But, I knew it was not in her best interest. While she enjoyed getting out, she couldn't handle it. She would lose it and start screaming. Anyone who was around us a time or two knows what I mean when I say she screamed! :) But, I know I had it good. She screamed but not on and on like some kids. It was her way of saying she couldn't take it anymore. So, we stayed home mostly. Looking back, the months are a blurr. I remember certain people who made it a point to come and play or stay or help us. I don't think I'll ever be able to let them know how much that meant to me! and to us both!
Being real, I had what is called post adoption depression. It wasn't crippling where I couldn't operated day to day. But I couldn't feel. I felt wooden. I kissed my child, I held her A LOT! I rocked her, I thought up things to help her feel secure and loved. I did every thing I could to make the transition easier for her. But I didn't feel. I didn't like it, but I knew what it was, and that helped! I was linked in with other Russian adoptive moms online and that helped tremendously! They were a real help when things came up that I didn't know what to do about. When G did things I didn't understand or know how to deal with, I went online and had people who had been there, done that, answering me within an hour or two. I don't know how I would have survived without them. I told them how I was feeling and after a few month, they suggested I go back to work part time. A few weeks after that, I did. It did help some. But in reality, it took more than a year to finally feel like I was over and done with the depression and could really feel like myself.
She was in survival mode for most of her little life. Basically on high alert. Nothing escapes her attention. She sees and remembers everything.
And now for the happy part. The last few weeks have been sooo good. Not perfect. Is life ever perfect? But GOOD! I feel like myself, my daughter is calmer than I have ever seen her, she sings most of the day. She laughs and we tease each other, we have our way of doing things and it feels comfortable and right. I can go to a friends house and talk without feeling interrupted every five seconds with an insecure child who can't tolerate me talking to someone other than her. She is starting to enjoy and feel safe around other children. (some of the credit goes to a great babysitter) I put her to bed at night and she asks for more kisses. She calls me back in the room 3-7 times a night just to have me pull her covers up, it gets a bit old, yeah, but seeing her smile and wiggle in pleasure at seeing me makes it worth it. And like all kids, after she is in bed, she needs to go potty. She will walk past me slowly, hoping I turn around and smile at her. Then she comes back and comes over and says "mommy, I need a hug." Nothing sounds better than that!
All this to say, Adoption is hard, on both the parent and the child. It's not easy in any way. But, there is nothing better. Seeing the child attach well, seeing them heal from their past and knowing you helped to bring it about is amazing and wonderful. Having your child learning to pray, beginning to grasp the concept of God and Jesus, and loving to hear bible stories more than any other book she has, is incredible! All around, adoption is a wonderful miracle, and I thank God for bringing my wonderful daughter to me!